2 sides of a coin..

I used to think you are different,
I was wrong,
I used to think I'm the only one who felt so,
I was wrong,
I used to think I was the only one who yearned,
I was wrong,
I used to think I was the only one seeking,
I was wrong,
I used to think I'm the only one who went out of the way,
I was wrong,
I used to think I was the only one who saw the truth,
I was wrong,
And here I stand, humbled yet stronger,
Knowing that I'm not alone..never was..never will be,
You are just a reflection of me,
It's just that I show more than you do,
I say more than you ever will,
I do more than you thought possible,
Yet..I was wrong,
Though we love differently,
It's still the same language,
Always was...always will be,
Only as long..as you care to see.

A new year's eve to remember...

I have to lay myself bare somewhere and what better place than my very own haven of peace and warmth.


Something happened to me on the new year's eve and that something has considerably shaken me up. It was a wake up call to say the least.
Well, let's begin from the beginning. I vaguely remember waking up in the morning. I still felt the giddiness which comes from alcohol although I distinctly remember not having drunk too much but then again, I didn't have my medicines for almost 2 days as well.
One moment I was in bed, after talking to a friend over the phone and the next moment I'm in the hospital bed, all covered in blood. My hands, my hair and my clothes, all bloody. Yes, most definitely not a pretty sight to wake up to. I have never been admitted to a hospital before and the yes, I didn't expect my first time admission to be a complete blur in my head. The part which scared me senseless was that I had no recollection of a single thing. That's the part which scared the living daylights out of me. On top of that, my poor friends had to take me to the Hospital. It was not as if I was home and there were grown ups who could take care of me. No sir, just my Paying Guest friends who themselves had never dealt with anything remotely like this. And to top it all, I later on come to know that I had apparently threatened them in my disoriented state. Poor things. Imagine waking up to find your closest friend covered in blood and threatening you! Jesus! I shudder at the very sight I must have made!
But in times like these, I must say, it was a welcome relief to see my father and I can say with 100% conviction that there is simply no place like home and nothing can beat the peace which pervades your soul at the sight of your family members. My dad whisked me away from that hospital where the doctors wanted to stop me for God knows what bullshit reasons and boy oh boy, was I ever thankful that my dad knew how to deal with those clever rats!
All in all, it was a crazy experience, an experience which reminded me not so subtly that I can never take my body for granted, even if it is after a period of 8 years. Our body is our temple and it is our first and foremost duty to protect and cherish it. I thank the Lord for sparing me with just a few stitches here and there but yes, I will never again forget how important my body is and how much love it deserves for the hard work it puts in.


On that note, a VERRRRY HAPPY NEW YEAR MY DEAR FRIENDS. Hope this year brings a lot of joy, lots of learning and a thousand more reasons for you to smile.


God bless you 
Love
Deboshree

For you..

I was searching without a cause,
I was reaching out without a destination,
I was a soul without inspiration,
Then came a day when the sun came shining through,
And the sun was you,
I was seeking and you gave,
I was reaching and you held,
I looked and you stood,
I turned back and you turned back too,
Without you, this life would have been but half lived.

CAGED

As the days pass by,

She stands still,

Right by her window,

Looking at the world beyond,

Trying to make sense of what she can see,

Trying to understand what she can't,

But life is simpler than she thinks,

The answers are not always meant to be found,

Sometimes it is just about being content with not knowing,

Sometimes.. just sometimes ignorance is bliss,

Sometimes just sometimes the world beyond is better left unknown,

For truth be told,

There is much more to be known about oneself than what lay outside the window.

WAKE UP!

Life can be extremely challenging at times and sometimes it can bring you down with a thud. A thud much louder than you expected. 

I have come to realize a lot of things lately. I realized that I had reached a comfort zone regarding myself as a human being. Oh well, don't we all? We all think that after some time we all know what we really are. But I have found out that this is not the case at all. Sometimes we react in a way we never thought would have been possible to us, sometimes we see things in a way we never thought possible and that is the time to wake up.

It is time for me to wake up. A certain incident in my life has left me with this one thought. I have to find myself again. I have to be with myself. Too often we are too busy trying to make the one's around us happy 'coz their happiness gives us happiness. But what happens when those loved ones stop loving you? What do you do then? You break into a million pieces and it is now time to sit down and see why it happened the way it did. I have realized that I have spend too much time trying to make others happy and when they didn't seem to care either way, I was the one who was dealt a harsh blow. It is time for me to be alone with myself and see what really makes me Deboshree. It's time for me to understand my needs and my dreams instead of worrying about the shattered dreams I built with others.

And sometimes, we need such instances in life to wake us up and do some mental cleaning. It's time for me to make a decision and decide where I want to take my life and what I want to do with it. Rest is all secondary.

I'm wide awake now my friends. I hope you are too.

HOLD ON AND KEEP THE FAITH

Here I am, sitting in front of the laptop at 1:00 AM in the morning.

I just read a post of my fellow bloggy friend, SEARCHING SOUL, where I found that she is indeed confused with what is happening in her life as of now.

This made me think of my position. I feel that many times life deals with you with a certain blow because you needed it. You needed to learn from it and grow into a better and stronger person. I know that not every mishap can have a positive effect but when we rewind our life, we see that all the things somehow, strangely, fit. Just perfectly fit.

I injured my ankle while dancing, tore a ligament actually and am still on break and now I come to know that both my ankles are actually weak and I have to take a lot more calcium. So was this injury good or bad? It let me know something which could have deteriorated to such an extent where I could not have been able to do anything. But now that I know, I know what steps I have to take to bring things back on track.

On top of that, there is a raging fire inside me, burning with an intensity which grows every passing moment. I will never forget what this small injury has taught me. I have learned how lucky I am to dance and all the thoughts about being conscious in front of others or worrying about other people's opinions, is just a lot of shit. Dance is dance. It is YOU. An expression of your inner self and to do it freely is the biggest gift one can have. So, I for one have realized that and because of this injury, I will go back to dancing with a passion which burns much stronger than before and which has gone much deeper. 

Yes, the injury was good. When life comes to such a situation, where you know you may not be able to do something you love, you see what the truth is. You see what matters and what doesn't. You see the truth hidden behind layers of false notions. So when you are given a second chance, you know the true value of what you have. So I thank that someone up there who watches over all of us and has carefully laid down a plan for each of us.

Till then my friends, keep the faith and keep living life to the fullest!

Much love,

Deboshree

And there she sat, in the cold of the night,

And wept the tears of a lover denied,

But still she waited on that lonely path,

With hope of her lover to come crying back,

And in the starlit night with not another soul in sight,

She finally saw the man she loved,

Yes, that shadow against the pale moonlight was surely his,

That firm tread could only be his,

Those warm brown eyes could only and only be his,

And then came the fulfillment to a heart denied love too long,

And such is the hope for which we lovers shall live.