Have you ever felt totally and completely numb? Numb beyond recognition? So numb that even you can't believe that it is actually you? I have been feeling so these days. Something seems wrong, terribly wrong and it's as if my heart knows that it's coming and preparing me for it before it strikes. I walk through the streets feeling nothing at all, wondering why I'm not happy. I see my friends and don't really feel anything at all. They are so happy to see me and I try, so hard, to feel something but nothing comes. I talk to my partner but I don't feel the same wealth of emotion as I used to. Something is changing and it's happening fast. And somehow, I don't have any idea how to stop it.
Things have stopped affecting me too much. It's as if a switch has been turned off and nothing can turn it off. Perhaps I am thinking too much and perhaps I am not. I wonder what it is that my heart is shielding me from. I hope I am wrong. I really do. Because if I'm not then something bad is about to happen. Something that will change me and my life. For better or for worse, I just don't know.
My heart is silently crying but crying for what, I don't know. Does any of you feel this way ever? Is it just a phase or is something really about to change? I wonder....
4 comments:
I'm sorry you're feeling sad lately too. Maybe the whole world is just going through a bit of a down spot all together? At least we know we're not alone. :) I hope you have someone there that you trust and can talk to. That always helps.
Once again I know exactly what you mean. I've been there and passed it but I can not remember how. Some changes need to happen, but what, that's for your heart to decide.
Love
epasen
Maybe there is no "how" to getting through it. Changes have already been set in motion. Perhaps because you can't define them they were meant only to be accepted.
Sometimes numbness is a natural defense against the pains of transition. Frankly, for me, it would be welcome.
I feel sad sometimes. We all do. I hope you are feeling better soon.
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