Saturday, April 24, 2010

Some things that make me...ME

Deboshree Roy Chowdhury, 20 years old (wow, when did I get this old?) in her final year of college pursuing dance as a career after a short while. Well, that's me. But somehow, lately, I've been seeing things around me. Seeing that in some way I am different and learning to accept it.

I love my friends and I'll do anything to make them happy. I treat them like family and I NEVER hesitate to show my love no matter what other people might think. Saying goodbye to a friend without a hug is sort of impossible for me.

I'm crazy about love. I think all of this life is but a journey of love where we meet people who change us for life without our even knowing it. Love is what I live for and without it, I'm just not Deboshree anymore. This heart of mine swells with love and sharing it is the only way I know to make sure that my heart doesn't burst open.

I have dreams. Many many dreams. But most of all, I want to make a difference in people's lives. I want them to think of me and smile 'coz I have made them happy in some way or the other. That's all that matters at the end of the day. The joy that ones gets from giving others happiness is incomparable.

I hate lies. I say what I feel and kill me if you want to, but that's the way I am. The truth is the truth. There are no two ways about it.

When I see someone beautiful, be it a stranger or family, I never hesitate to stop that person and tell him/ her exactly how beautiful they are. Who knows, I may have made someone's day! And if I meet someone who is equally beautiful from the inside, I make sure that the person knows about it. Life is too short and not everyone is honest. That much I have seen.

Yes, I believe in past lives. I believe I have come here for a reason and the day that reason ceases to exist, I will cease existing too. I believe that we get what give to the world. The world is nothing but a mirror.

I think people are too keyed up about making good impressions. Shall I let you in on a secret? LET GO!! Life is beautiful and people will love you if you can make them let go too. Freedom is the essence of happiness. Being yourself is the greatest thing!

I am VERY philosophical and sometimes a wee bit too serious. And not all people like that. Not all people think like I do. Not all people THINK as much as I do. But thankfully, there are some who would always listen to me. Thank you for that my dear friends.

I believe that the biggest challenge in life is finding oneself and actually sticking to what you know. It's so easy to forget what you really are and that's sad. I say so 'coz I have been through that myself and I know how it feels. So I always make sure that I am close to myself. Honesty with myself is of utmost importance.

I believe in hope. I believe that we humans have the capacity to face the greatest trials of life and still get up and start walking again. I believe that all of us are connected and if you are reading this, just smile for me. It will make me happy :-)

Just felt like writing my thoughts about myself. Sometimes I have a hard time loving myself and that is another fact I am honest about. But I'm going to change that.

Much love to all my bloggy friends!

Have a great day ahead! ^_^


Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Sweet torment..

And in this world I can hold you,
Love you to my heart's content,
Here fear can fade away and simply disappear,
Dance into an oblivion and forget its origin,
For this world is ours,
Ours to cherish and ours to keep,
It is here that you met me,
And it is here where I shall keep you,
In my very own DREAMWORLD,
So farewell my Prince,
Till you come to torment my dreams...once again.

Monday, April 12, 2010



One part of me yearns for you,
The other shudders at the thought of you coming close,
One part tells me to move on,
While the other one bleeds to death,
There is this conflict raging inside me,
My heart says something else
But my body speaks a different language,
What am I to do?
Ignore one and give in to the other?
But what would that make me?
Just another soul who compromised with her needs,
Just another soul who gave up before the fight started,
Sorry, but I can't give up any one of them,
Forsaking one would mean killing the other,
and that would mean killing myself,
So I've decided to bear the pain now,
and fight for as long as it takes,
I'm better this way and so are you.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

My 100th blog post..

What a journey life is. It's been quite some time since I started blogging and all I can say is that I won't stop. I won't stop this beautiful journey which has given me a chance to meet such lovely people.

Now, let's begin at the beginning.

I came across this newspaper article which said something about blogging being the latest thing to connect people all over the world. At that time, I NEVER thought I myself would be a blogger in a very short while. So I came online and decided to see what this blogging thing was anyway (Yeah, I didn't know a thing about blogging!). I stumbled across a few blogs and just looking at the number of followers had me gaping at them open mouthed!! But as I went on, I saw blogging for what it was and not what I thought it to be. We don't have to be tremendous writers to blog, we don't have to use flowery words to touch someone's heart and reach out. Blogging is all about sharing your thoughts and life experiences and that's what makes it special. Sometimes it's so refreshing to just pen down your thoughts and not worry about what the person might think of them. We are all perfect strangers connected perfectly. JUST in the right way. JUST enough to give eachother hope and faith. I have met people from all over the world and believe me when I say we are NOT that different. All of us have the same heart beating is us, all of us struggle to be where we are, all of us have something to share and a kind word to drop in. All of us are HUMANS and that, in itself,  is enough to connect us. It's such a lovely feeling to know that someone living in some other corner of this world thinks about you and cares enough to drop by and in that one moment, we are one. Lovely, isn't it?

Now coming back to me, I have changed quite a lot from what I used to be. I have matured, I have seen new facets of life, I have seen that life is all about hope and most of all..FAITH!

Nothing can come to pass without faith and that is what I hold onto. After a long time I can see what I want of my life. I can see that dance has come to be my number one priority and call me cynical, I think the journey of life can be rather sad at times. People come and go and when they leave you, you are never the same again. But that's life, isn't it? You meet, you walk together for a while and then you carry on with your journey, just left with a feeling of being touched and moved by someone or by something they said.

So now I would like to thank all my bloggy friends who have made me a richer human being. Money is not wealth. Knowledge is. Love is.

Some people who have really made this blogging journey special, a heartfelt thanks to you- Jenean, Nancy, Sol, Kelly, Ron, John, Sharla and Emmi, thank you for being with me through it all ^_^ You guys really mean a lot to me. YOU ARE SPECIAL.

On this note, I shall end my 100th blog post letting all of you know how much you mean to me.


Much love,

Friday, April 2, 2010


There's something about the night. There's something about this time and hour which makes you feel different somehow. It reaches deep into your soul and brings into light things you've been hiding from all day. Strange how the light of the day shields us and the darkness of the night strips us of all pretences. Ironical. You can't hide when it's night. You can't pretend your problems don't exist 'coz when you're left with yourself, your heart really shows you what you need to see.

While everyone is lost in a world of dreams, here I am, writing my blog and sharing my innermost feelings.

You know, inspite all my inspirational words and thoughts, I sometimes feel that at heart I am NOT so positive after all. I see the negative side to everything and I tend to rationalize things way toooo much! People don't think the way I do. No one THINKS as much as I do. At the end of the day, more than the thoughts, its the action which counts. But then I think to myself, would there be any action in the first place if there were no thoughts to back it? See? I definitely think too much!

Is it me or is this human nature? To want the best but prepare for the worst? I have many dreams, so many hopes and expectations from my life. But then there is a side of me which always thinks in terms of what if. What if this doesn't work out? What if that doesn't turn out the way it was supposed to? What if? But I guess that is human nature, isn't it? And then sometimes I feel stifled. Why can't I just believe and leave it at that. Why do I have to think beyond it and think about the times when my belief and faith are going to be shattered? Why? Why can't I just be happy with faith? Why do I need more? What is it? What is it? There is no answer to that. I am talking to myself. I don't know why I need more and I simply can't find the answer to that.

And now the weirdest part of all? I still hope. I still dream. I still want. I still desire. And inspite of all this negativity which stems from a mind which is too analytical, this heart of mine still dominates me. It is my heart through which I think. When I start following the dictats of my mind I tend to complicate things way too much. So I really hope that this heart of mine doesn't get me into serious trouble 'coz where my mind is too rational, my heart is just as emotional!

So is it just me or do all of you out there feel this jumble of feelings? Do all of you feel torn by two sides within you? Let me know for I don't have an answer to this one.