Friday, April 24, 2009


Hey guys.Didn't have time to post much because of my exams.They're still on but I need a break.
Today, I shall tell you a story about a girl on the threshold of womanhood and a man who helped her achieve it. It is but a unique story. They met and the feeling from the very beginning was something special. They knew they could never be JUST friends, but they tried and they failed. Feelings grew, emotions became stronger and the world began to change. Two lost souls, buried in sadness and pain, saw the world with new eyes. Suddenly, there was hope in life. Maybe afterall, after everything that had happened to them before, they still had a chance of living a happy life.
But there was another thing. They had NEVER really met. They lived in different cities, thousands of kms away from each other. They never saw each other except in pictures and they did not know what the other person really looked like in real life. But their feelings were too strong to give up. Sometimes, it seemed futile for them to carry on for the distance was too much of a burden to bear. But somehow, even after the saddest conversations, there would be a glimmer of hope and they chose to believe.
Then came a miracle. The girl's family decided to send her to that city for a vacation and only with her sisters and best friend. It was like a dream come true but still it was unbelievable. And so she left, with love in her heart, excitement filling every pore of her being.
And then came the jolt. Not a pleasant one. Life played a trick on them. They were talking over the phone for over a year and their feelings had grown. But little did they think that such might not be the case in real life. The feelings were not that strong and they knew this was a test for them. But inspite of everything, they held on for eventhough doubts plagued them, love was never far away. And they were tested, again and again. Even when he came to her city, it wasn't easy for them to get used to each other, but they did and chose to believe

Time went on and almost 2 years were over. But this time they did not have a chance to meet before almost 6-7 months. The girl's faith began to crumble but he refused to let go. When she was weak, he gave the strength to hold on. But soon, a time came when the girl's faith was back and his faith began to crumble. More than ever before. But this time, the girl didn't let go and so they move on............Sometimes, there is more pain than happiness and sometimes there is more darkness than hope. But that is not what they believe in. After the shadow of the night, the sun shines through and that is the meaning of life. After every obstacle we have overcome, there is reward. After every challenge won, there is glory of victory. And that comes when you choose to believe.

And now here is another are what you choose to believe.

And that girl is none other than me and that man is mine.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


Today I would like to tell all of you about my dearest pets.
Well, they are with me no more , but I have many happy memories with them.
We had more than 30 pigeons and 2 rabbits which multiplied to 40!! I used to love them with all my heart, but then something happened and they could be with us no more.
My mom got cancer and the doctor said that pets could be a source of infection for mom and they had to be given away. What a moment it was.I'm glad that I was very young back then.If I was older, then the pain would have been much more acute.
I had spent wonderful moments with those lovable creatures.We had two rabbits, Tiny and Tot.Tiny was the mother and Tot, the father.Tiny used to remain ill all the time and Tot was the healthy and ferocious one.There isn't any family member who wasn't bitten by him.He even bit my sister's nose!
There was one particularly amusing incident,although it wasn't that at that time.My father was very fond of Tot and would sit with him for long hours. But one day, as dad was cuddling Tot, he suddenly bit his finger and it started bleeding(that was the third time for dad) and then dad just lost it. It all happened in a moment.We saw the naked fury in dad's expression and grabbed Tot and ran with him! We just ran for it! Me,my sister and my mom, all in a line and dad behind us, shouting to let the vicious animal down for he deserved a good hit. We knew that if poor Tot had a good hit from dad, he would never survive for another one. We locked us into the next room and dad was shouting like anything. He loved Tot a lot but I guess he didn't realise how frail the sweet animal was. But we refused to open the door and held Tot close to us,who thankfully, did NOT bite us. I guess he realised it was safer for him to keep his mouth shut this time.Literally.

They were extremely dear to us and it was mom who brought them to us. I will always love them,but now that I'm older I feel that maybe they should never be taken captive in the first place. Same goes for birds. If I ever get pigeons again' I'll set them free.My partner has inspired me to think so and I think he is right.
The thing about pets is that within no time at all, they make a place in your heart, name that place as theirs and simply no one can replace them.But the moment they are gone, the heart is filled with inexplicable sorrow and the place they kept warm for themselves becomes suddenly extremely barren and cold.
So maybe, just maybe, I'll think twice before letting them enter my life again.

Friday, April 10, 2009


Today, friends, I plan to write about love.I'm young but I feel that my feelings aren't.

Love.I thought I was in love in school when I was 9 years old. I thought I was in love when I was 15 years old. Then again I thought I was in love when I was 16 years old and after that I gave up on love altogether.I became a cynic at too young an age and gave up all thoughts of love altogether. I thought that love was made for fools and it was nothing but a waste of emotions. Yes, I know it sounds ghastly but I was fighting with myself every day then. My heart would want to believe but my experiences would speak a different language altogether.

Soon I was 18 and I met this guy who has changed my life. Whatever I am today, I owe it to him. From a cynical, under confident, defiant and sad little girl, I became a strong, confident and extremely positive person.You must know that it was because of him that I had the courage to join dance classes.I didn't want to disppoint him.I would be nowhere if it weren't for him. I think even he has no idea how much he has done for me.

He had faith in me when I had lost it myself. He pushed me to do my best when I didn't have the confidence. He was ecstatic if I was victorious.He was understanding and loving when I was not. But judgemental he was never. He has been my strongest support and reason to live. There were no insecurities with him, there was nothing childish about our relationship. He is the man who taught me the meaning of US. He is the man who has made me understand the meaning of love and I tell you, it's simply beautiful!

What is love?

It is more than the fluttering of your heart, it is more than sleepless nights, it is more than butterflies in your stomach, it is much more than passing lust. Love is what calms your heart, what soothes your soul.It is love which gives you the pleasure of resting in peace at night with a smile on your face making you realise that when you wake up the next morning, your loved one will be right next to you, safe in your heart and warm in your arms. That is what I call is love. Love is more than attraction for attraction is something which invariably dies. Love is when you have utmost faith in your partner, so much so that you can trust him blindly.

That is what he has made me realise and I love him for that. I love him with all my heart and I always wish for his happiness. I shall always be thankful to God for making him a part of my life, a part of me.

Words are not enough to show how much he means to me. He has given new dimensions to the meaning of love.God bless his soul.He deserves nothing less than the best in life.

Thursday, April 9, 2009


Today I would like to introduce all of you to the beautiful world of Art.
I have always been a fan of artists and one of my best friends is doing Bachelors in Fine Arts from a very reputed college in India.
Other than that, my mom was a fantastic artist and my grandmother is still one!
So all my life I have seen lovely works around me but sadly, the talent has not passed on to us.At best, I can sketch and that is about it. But yes, I do have a genuine love for art and I enjoy reading about famous artists.
The artists whom I find most fascinating are VAN GOGH, PAUL GAUGUIN, MICHELANGELO, MONET, MANET, LEONARDO DA VINCI.But today I want to write about the two artists who are closest to my heart.
Let's begin with Michelangelo(1475-1564)-Michelangelo was an Italian Renaissance painter, sculptor,architect and poet. I first saw his works when I was in school and I must say, his works are nothing short of exquisite. He brought life into marble and every work of his has somehow touched me. He has never JUST painted, he has brought life into each and every figure.He used to go to the morgue and cut human bodies to get a better idea of our anatomy.Well, he did a great job of it! He is the only artist who had 2 biographies written during his lifetime and although he earned a lot in his lifetime, he lived like a pauper.
One of my dreams is to visit Rome to see the famous Sistine Chapel.I am totally intrigued by his work.These are few of his works which I really like.


Now I come to Vincent Van Gogh(1853-1890)-Vincent Van Gogh was a Dutch post -impressionist artist. I had read LUST FOR LIFE by IRVING STONE which was based on his life.I must say that this was one of the few books which made me cry. He was one man who had an extremely tragic life.



He couldn't sell even one painting throughout his life.The only painting which he thought was sold was actually bought by his own brother THEO. Theo loved Vincent dearly and he was the only support for Vincent, especially financially. He died very young at the age of 37. He had committed suicide by shooting himself in the chest and within 6 months of his death, Theo too passed away.My heart cries out even while writing about this. As we all know, Van Gogh gained fame AFTER his death and today, his works are irreplacable.



These are a few of his works which I really like.

The thing about artists which attracts me the most is not only their works, but what inspired them to produce such master pieces.I have always felt that artists are a class apart.Their power of imagination surpasses the normal human being, they can see and feel things which we may never be able to.
Their passion and ability to show the world what they feel and think through the canvas has been one which I greatly admire and will continue to do so.
I would love to know what goes on in their mind and I will keep on trying, for theirs is a world of passion and imagination, a world I would willingly like to get lost in.
I salute all the artists in this world who produce thought provoking works of art and let us catch a glimpse of their challenging world.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009


Anyone who has read my earlier post about dance will know what dance means to me.Time has made me realise the beauty of dancing and if anything, my relationship with dance has become stronger than ever before.
Earlier I was too worried thinking about the money and where it would come from, but you know what, I have realised that when you really want something with all our heart, everything conspires in your favour and not because it is fate, but because you have faith and you WORK towards what you want in life. The ultimate achievement in life is to be happy and fulfilled,to be doing the things which really make you feel alive.And let me tell you something, there are very few things in life which become the reason of your living.
Well,I have found it!
I have been offered dance as a profession twice now and only this time have I thought of giving it a try.Today I have been promoted to the next level and here I am, feeling rather sad.
Why? Because no one in my house appreciates the fact that I have been promoted.They can't see the hard work that I have put in to be where I am.I guess it isn't their fault either.Even I didn't know how much hard work dancers have to put in to be where they are.
Life has changed for me after dancing and I hope that this step will be correct for me.
For most people, dance may just be the movement of our body,but for me it's the freedom which my soul craves, the fulfillment which my heart desires and the joy which gives meaning to my life.
Here I go, taking a step which might completely change my life but I have to take this risk for what is life without challenge? What is life if you don't live it? And so, I choose to LIVE.

Saturday, April 4, 2009


Alas,there I saw, a world full of beauty, a world where we walk in a dreamland, sleep in a fantasy and breath in the air of love.....and that my friend, is a world which shall never be.
In this dreamworld, flowers shall blossom in every season, the winds shall blow whenever I please, the heavens shall bestow gentle kisses on the creatures of earth, lovers shall be entwined, lost in a world of peaceful oblivion.
We shall be born blessed and live with an undying zest and passion for life and love.
I shall close my eyes and the whole world of my dreams shall come before my eyes. For endless moments, I shall be there, captured in the beauty of my own imagination and filled with an ecstasy rarely known to man.

The stars shall look down upon me and embrace me, make me feel immortal, be it even for a second. When I open my eyes, my lover shall make me realise the wonder of being mortal, of being young, of being passionate and truly alive in the arms of my beloved.

But then, the moment my name is called, my splendid journey shall come to an abrupt halt. With a thudding jolt the world of my dreams shall crumble right before my eyes, but not before I relive it once again and lock it away in my memory, where I shall jealously guard it, till next time........when my love affair with fantasy shall resume again.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009


It was a Sunday. Sunday,a day supposed to comprise of fun and relaxation. But this particular Sunday I was neither at home expecting any friends nor was I relaxing myself. This particular Sunday I was at an NGO which has had a strong impact on me. AASHAYEIN, an NGO under the care of AID(Association for Indian Development) was a rather interesting project.
We had to teach poor children but what I did not know was that where we would be teaching would be near the slum. For a moment, after looking at the shackled building we would be teaching them in (not literally inside the building,just the floor outside), all my hopes took a plunge into the gutter. Realisation hit me that how could such a place ever make a concrete difference? But those feelings did not last long. The children came running to see us, happiness etched in every line of their face and I couldn't help but smile back at them. I thought to myself ,ok there must be some hope. One of them came to me and hugged me outright. It was an extremely cute baby boy who was not even taller than my legs..! The boy wrapped his hands around me and hugged me as if he had been waiting for me forever. What a heart warming feeling it was. I smiled into the child's eyes and decided there and then that yes, I would make a difference. The class began and we fit in perfectly with the children. It came so naturally, the light teasing, the mock anger and teaching them with love and patience. It wasn't half as bad as I had expected. I knew we would be coming back again and again........
But I was still thinking what sort of concrete difference could we bring about because teaching them anything and everything every week wouldn't make any concrete difference. Something was missing and I found out what that something was in the coming weeks. I attended a meeting of AID where all the NGOs under this organisation came together and wow, what an experience!! When I heard what the people were doing, their efforts were a welcome inspiration.
I listened attentively and said to myself-these are the people who can actually make a difference in our country, people who were putting their soul into their tasks and made real differences in life. My admiration for them rose with every passing moment and I decided that I had to do something for my NGO as it did not even have a proper room allocated for the children. But I came to know that the head had somehow taken care of that and we were soon to have room for the children and I knew that only then could we make a concrete difference.
With hope in my heart and doubts inevitably tagging along, I have vowed to make a true difference in the lives of these children. I hope that doubt loses its meaning with the passage of time and strength becomes our guiding factor. Strength to make a difference, strength to take initiative.