Friday, October 30, 2009


Lost in a myriad of doubts and questions, we didn't know what to expect or not to.That was the frame of mind we met in. No expectations. Just accepting what came our way.

I don't have enough words to describe how beautiful it was.

I'm so glad that things have worked out for us. It has actually more than worked out!Being in a long distance relationship is not easy but all I can say is that it isn't impossible either! Now that we have a reason to hold on to eachother, nothing can separate us! If he wouldn't have come to meet me this year, I don't think I would have the strength to hold on. So, first of all, I want to thank you for coming to me, my love.

If it weren't for him, I would never realise how much I was missing out in life. If not for him, I would never realise that inspite of the many things I do, the happiness I feel with him pales everything else in comparison. That's the truth...when I am with him, the world pales in comparison. He becomes the centre of my existence, my reason to live, my reason to achieve great things in life. Never have I felt as complete a human being as I do when I am with him.

When he was here, I asked myself a few questions-

What more can I ask when I have the man who loves me for what I am and NEVER judges me?
What more can I want when he loves me unconditionally and demands only love in return?
What more can I want when I know that he lives miles away from me and is faithful only to me?
What more can I want when all that he wants is to make me happy?
What more can I want when the man I love has more faith in me than I have in myself?

The answer is simple....I can ask for NOTHING more for I need nothing more.

Once again, this journey has shown me that nothing is impossible when we have the will to make things work. I shudder to think that I was ever thinking of letting go.

Now that he has gone, there is both happiness and sadness. Happiness because I know we will make it. the prospect of being without him for a long time again. Inspite of the happiness, there is a gaping hole in my life. A hole which only his love can fill.

All I can say to him is...

I will wait for you. I can close my eyes and trust you with everything I have. There is nothing I can hide from you. Everything I feel for you is there for you to see. I give you my heart for I know that you will take care of it at any cost. Even at the cost of you being hurt. I am here to prevent that. I love you with all I have and all I am capable of. Thank you for always having faith in us. Be mine for life. God bless you.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


Dear friends,

My baby is coming to visit me after almost a year and will be here for a week. I won't be active for a week from tomorrow as his train reaches here in the afternoon.

Every meeting is a challenge for us, every meeting holds many possibilities. Doubts are inevitable when your loved one lives so far away, but we haven't let go. It's been more than 2 years and we're still strong. I know the journey ahead won't be easy, but then again what is the meaning of a life without struggle? I don't know what tomorrow holds for us but what I do know is that the journey this far holds one of the most beautiful memories of my life.
Just wish us the best this time.
I leave you (for a very short while) with this parting thought-
Life without love is like dance without music. You
can move on without it, but it will have no


Lots of love

Sunday, October 18, 2009


Persepolis is an autobiographical graphic novel by MARJANE SATRAPI depicating her childhood in Iran during the Revolution. The title is after the historical town called Persepolis.

My friend gave me the book and said it was a great read and after reading the book, I have to say that I agree.

The whole revolution is seen through the eyes of the child who is suddenly forced to change the ways of her life. It is sad yet when we see it from the eyes of a child, all we can see is the bewilderment and frustration at not being allowed to live the way she wants to.

As the book progresses, one can see the different emotions which the child feels. Her strong desire to become a prophet changes completely in the background of the changing political scenario. In its place comes the desire to overthrow the evil shah who was turning their lives upside down. As time passes, the atrocities committed on the people becomes common knowledge. One particular scene was extremely tragic when Satrapi hears that there has been bombing in her area. She comes running home only to find out that her neighbour's building has been bombed. Just when she and her mother were contemplating whether or not their neighbours might be at home, satrapi sees the bracelet which her neighbour (Neda) wears. Before her mother could react, she went to pull that bracelet only to find a hand attached to it under all the ruins. Her scream exploded in my ears too. The fact is that we can only empathize to an extent. The horror that particular incident will always be written on HER mind.

The book is a marvellous description of the tragic events which shook the whole population of Iran. Because the book is through a child's eye, the enormity and significance of those events are both dulled and magnified at the same time.

An amazing book and a must read.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Faith, God and Free Will


Many times people have asked me-"Deboshree, do you believe in God?"
I reply-"No, I don't"
"But why??"

And this is how it goes-

I was a firm believer in God but then certain things happened which eroded my faith in Him. I know that everyone goes through trying times and sometimes when people lose faith, they get it back with time. I lost it and never got it back.

I have come to believe in the immense power of our minds and I believe that we are the makers of our own destiny. I don't believe that there is a God who paves the way for us and guides us. What I do believe in though is that there is something known as Universal Justice. What goes around inevitably comes around. I get what I give. If I sin, then I am sure to pay for it. I believe that everything in this Universe happens when it is exactly supposed to happen. Everything happens for a reason. I believe in Karma and most of all, in human will.

I believe that what matters the most is the kind of person you are. It is one thing to be remembered for your wealth and fame but it is something entirely different to be remembered and missed for all the love you gave. I want to be remembered for the latter reason.

Sometimes I used to think that we humans in general are weak and thus we believe in God..that undefinable somebody on whom we can fall back upon. I always felt that we need support and when we are lonely, He is the only one we can rely on. So is there a God for real or is He just a figment of our imagination?

But there is something else I know. The ones who have faith in Him are blessed. Blessed because they know that they are never alone. Wonder how that feels..knowing that you are never alone and there is someone watching over you. I don't have that. But to be honest, I don't feel a great sense of loss.

My grandfather has had a profound impact on me. He never believed in God and that affected me too. I came to look at the world through his eyes. I came to see that we can do whatever we want to. It's not God or Destiny which will lead us. It is we ourselves. There is no one else. Now that he is gone, I realise that his vision is the vision I WANT to have.

I guess I am simply agnostic in nature. My dear friends, I know that most of you believe in God and if anything I said is offensive to you, I apologize beforehand.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

My tribute to a great man

They were a happy family, living well with all they wanted and more. But something changed. The four children lost their mother and their lives turned upside down. Their grandparents came to live with them, bringing along with themselves a whole new set of rules and regulations to be followed by the spoiled children. But then again, they had no idea what was coming.

He came into their lives with the force of a hurricane and with equal force made them change their ways. Pampered children who never knew how NOT to get what they wanted were now facing a whole new world. A world where things were not as rosy as before, a world where one had to THINK before acting instead of acting mindlessly. Was it easy for them? NO. Was it easy for him to be firm with them? NO. But he did it and the children began to change. They learned to see that life is not all about getting what you want but is actually about giving what you can. They understood that self control, discipline and the value of one's words were of utmost importance. It was imprinted in their minds that nothing can be more important than one's principles in life and breaking them is actually insulting yourself and what you stand for. Was it tough for the kids? Yes, very much so. But was it worth it? Yes, definitely yes. It may have been the hard way but in this case it was the best way. The anger would seem nothing in the long run when they would realise how much their grandfather had actually done for them.

Today, I want to thank my grandfather for all he has done for us. Because of him, I am what I am. If I am a strong human being today who understands the value of self respect, discipline and hard work, it is all because of him. He had a will of iron and he has shown us how to live fearlessly. That is how I remember him, a man who lived on his own terms, a man who lived fearlessly. I was young when I lost Mom and after she went away, I developed a kind of phobia. I started think that any health problem I had was an indication of cancer. It was then when I told him about it that he told me...a coward dies a thousand times before his death a valiant dies but once. At that moment I knew what I wanted to be and I have never looked back since then. There are so many things which he taught all of us and I know that without him our character would not have the strength it has now.

He passed away in front of my eyes this Tuesday, but I am not sad. I am happy, happy to see him relieved of the pain he was going through. I am happy because I know that the very moment he passed away, he has started a new life in some corner of this world. He has not left us, he never will. I still feel his presence all around for I know that he will always be watching. I love you Dadu, always have and always will. I won't say goodbye to you. All I can wish is for you to have a happy life.

Saturday, October 3, 2009


You know how it is sometimes.....

A friend recommends a book very highly and you feel you already know that the book isn't so good but since your friend likes it soooo much, you decide that you must give it a try atleast. Something like that happened to me........

Twilight, by Stephanie Meyer, has been considered as a book for teenagers and so I ASSUMED that it won't be my type. But then two of my friends had gone crazy about it. So I started to think..what the hell can be so special about a love story between a human and a vampire. But I had a bit of free time, so why not read it and find out myself and this is what I found......

There is no end to how beautiful and profound love can be, there are no limits, the only limits are the ones we set ourselves, there is no end to how much we can love somebody and to what lengths we can go to protect them and the Twilight Saga has just shown me all this and much more.

Our imagination, left unexplored for too long starts to rot and dies a silent death, but what about the people who dare to imagine, who dare to explore the inner recesses of their minds, what about them? They are the ones who experience the joy of their minds,the joy of being free, they are the ones who produce brilliant works while the rest of us can only sit and admire. But do you know what the truth is? All of us have it in us. We either don't pay attention to it or simply don't have time.
Twilight is a love story between a Vampire (Edward Cullen) and a normal human being (Isabella Swan). The author has captured the pain, the agony and the beauty of such love. How can a vampire fall in love with a human and not end up killing it? Especially when her blood is exactly the type of blood he has always thirsted for? This is why...

First of all, the Cullen family is different than normal vampires. They choose to live like humans rather than monsters guided by their instincts. They live on animal blood although they have learned self control after centuries of practice and determined efforts. They did kill humans at one point of time, but that changed once they became a part of Carlisle Cullen's family. Carlisle was the head of the family and an amazing doctor to fellow human beings. He was the lone person who chose this way of life. His self control was such that the sight and smell of human blood could not tempt him in the least. He had a choice and he chose to protect humans rather than thinking of them as his food. He was the one who added the rest of the members to the Cullen family, actually he was the one who MADE them. Keep this in mind that he never changed a human being into a vampire if he had the choice. He led a lonely life for centuries and was plagued by loneliness. Could he change someone into a vampire? How would he do it? Was it the right thing to do? He himself was bitten by a vampire and the pain was excruciating, did he have the heart to put someone through the same pain again and what if that person didn't survive? But all these questions were answered in one go when in 1918, Edward (17 years old) was dying of the Spanish Influenza. His father had died and his mother implored Carlisle ,in her death bed ,to save Edward at any cost and he did what he had to. And thus came Edward, the vampire, frozen at the age of 17 years for eternity

Isabella Swan, 17 years of age wanted to leave Arizona to give her mother and his new husband some time alone. So she decided to do the noble thing and that was to simply get away. Even if it meant going to the place she hated the most...Forks ,where her Dad lived, where there was incessant rain, where the sun would rarely make an appearance from behind the dark clouds. That's Isabella Swan for you, the one ready to sacrifice her happiness for the ones she loved.

Little did she know what fate was awaiting her in the small town of Forks. Little did she know that she would fall in love with the boy she met in her school, the boy who always stared at her and kept his distance from her. Little did she know how much pain she was causing Edward.
Edward, torn between his thirst and his love for her, was always fighting. A battle which required tremendous self control and determination on his part. But he did it and so did his family.

The love story between them is a dream come true for every romantic. But it isn't always rosy. There has to be some villain, someone who would want to burst their bubble of happiness and guess who can it be? Vampires ofcourse, vampires who come across the Cullen family and are stunned to find a human among them. And then begins the hunt, the hunt for Bella's blood.

This is what happens in the first book. Although she is relatively safe by end of this book, there are many more threats just waiting for her. The Twilight Saga, ie, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn are works of a great mind and lovely imagination.
I am sure that at least few of you must have watched the movie. Most of the times, movies don't do justice to the books but believe me, this movie has done a fantastic job. I loved the movie. It was shot beautifully although Bella's (Kristen Stewart) acting needs a bit of work. No one could have fit the role of Edward as beautifully as Robert Pattinson did. He was literally Edward come true. The chemistry between Edward and Bella has done justice to the book. I am anxiously awaiting New Moon's release for I know it will be amazing too.

The Twilight Saga is a journey, a journey which shows what love is and what it can make one do. Love is not just happiness, but a multi faceted emotion which requires tremendous courage and faith.

For the first time I read a book which went beyond the love affair. The author actually takes us on a journey where not many authors can take us, ie, the journey of what happens AFTER the love affair.

I would like to thank Stephanie Meyer for producing such a great work which speaks volumes about her creativity and imagination. This is the type of work which can be produced when one lets their imagination take the front seat and reason the back seat. Hats off to her.