While everyone is lost in a world of dreams, here I am, writing my blog and sharing my innermost feelings.
You know, inspite all my inspirational words and thoughts, I sometimes feel that at heart I am NOT so positive after all. I see the negative side to everything and I tend to rationalize things way toooo much! People don't think the way I do. No one THINKS as much as I do. At the end of the day, more than the thoughts, its the action which counts. But then I think to myself, would there be any action in the first place if there were no thoughts to back it? See? I definitely think too much!
Is it me or is this human nature? To want the best but prepare for the worst? I have dreams...so many dreams, so many hopes and expectations from my life. But then there is a side of me which always thinks in terms of what if. What if this doesn't work out? What if that doesn't turn out the way it was supposed to? What if? But I guess that is human nature, isn't it? And then sometimes I feel stifled. Why can't I just believe and leave it at that. Why do I have to think beyond it and think about the times when my belief and faith are going to be shattered? Why? Why can't I just be happy with faith? Why do I need more? What is it? What is it? There is no answer to that. I am talking to myself. I don't know why I need more and I simply can't find the answer to that.
And now the weirdest part of all? I still hope. I still dream. I still want. I still desire. And inspite of all this negativity which stems from a mind which is too analytical, this heart of mine still dominates me. It is my heart through which I think. When I start following the dictats of my mind I tend to complicate things way too much. So I really hope that this heart of mine doesn't get me into serious trouble 'coz where my mind is too rational, my heart is just as emotional!
So is it just me or do all of you out there feel this jumble of feelings? Do all of you feel torn by two sides within you? Let me know for I don't have an answer to this one.