Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Now is this selfish or is this selfish?

Has anyone ever felt that love makes one selfish? Instead of all the lovely words associated with love I would like to use this word for once.

How does love make one selfish? When we love somebody, we want that person to spend as much time as possible with us. Why? Because it makes US happy, because WE want that person, WE need that person. Obviously its a two way thing with giving and receiving but in a way I find it selfish. Now you must be thinking why suddenly I'm thinking of love this way..well there is a verrrryy strong reason.

You know what I did...Yesterday my grandfather was taken to the hospital at around 4:30pm and I had my dance class at around 6:00 for which I would have to leave at 5:30. Instead of staying at home, I went for my dance class. There was no one except my brother, grandmother, her nurse and our domestic helper at home. My sisters were both out, working.
The right thing to do would be to stay at home, but I didn't. My love for dance pulled me and I couldn't resist. Didn't want to resist. Now how about that? Was that selfish or was that selfish? That was selfish. I never like to think of myself as a selfish human being, for I never want to be . But didn't my love for dance just make me one?

The feeling isn't very pleasant to say the least. I feel rotten but there is no point in feeling that now, right? As they say, what's done is done, but that doesn't solve my problem. I never want my love for someone or something make me selfish. Actually, I want quite the opposite. But is that possible? Is there actually no selfishness involved in love or do we just choose to see it that way?


TheChicGeek said...

You know, I think we all handle stress in different ways. I would imagine your grandfather would smile to know you were dancing. I would also imagine if there were something concrete you could do to help the situation, you would have done it. Taking care of yourself sometimes is the most loving thing to do because it clears your mind and allows you to be the best you possible and that best you can be the most help to those you love.

Sending love and best wishes to you and yours.

Nancy said...

I agree with Chic. Sometimes we really don't want our loved ones to sacrifice something to sit with us, if it isn't necessary. You have a kind and good heart.

epasen said...

I think it's total bullshit to say "when I look back there's nothing I'd do differently". We all have something we regret, something we'd like to change. Maybe it's something small, something big. But we shouldn't fear making mistakes since we learn from them, so much. You're just a human. I still love you.

John said...

We are all selfish in one way or another, whether we realise it or not. Some are more selfish and some less. Some chooses to, whether consciously or unconsciously, to show that selfish behavior or not. Whoever says that they are not selfish needs to examine themselves again, because tell me... what is selfish? Two different persons reading this post of yours can have different definitions of the word selfish. One might go... "Oh, that bloody selfish bitch!" while the other will say... "I would have done just the same!"

So who's to judge who is more selfish or less selfish? Who sets the measurements of selfishness?