Just yesterday something happened which disturbed me to quite some extent.
The lady who accompanies me to my dance class broke down in front of me and I just didn't know what to say.
What can one say when you're dealing with someone so disillusioned with life? She is 34 and I am 20 and I am sure she has seen more of life than I have but it just sounded so sad.
All her life she compromised on herself. First 'coz of her family and then later for her husband. And what is the end result? She ends up a person who is thoroughly dissatisfied with life and herself. Not only is she dissappointed with life, but is cynical and suspicious about people. She thinks that something bad is always lurking around the corner just to grab her. Lord I tried to tell her not to think this way! I told her that she would be willing ill fortune on herself if she thought that way. But you know what she said? She said that Deboshree, all these words amount to nothing when you have lived a life like me where my parents hated me and called me a good for nothing and then I find a husband who doesn't know the first thing about love.
And I was silenced. What could I say to this woman to make her feel better? Her demons have consumed her and she is bitter now. Can anything be sadder than this? To live a life where every dream, every desire is thwarted even before it can explore its potential. I just hope she finds a reason to follow her dreams again. I never think it's too late. If one wills, things can change and will change. I just hope she finds the much needed inspiration to do that.
I talk to her and I find myself a person who is very idealistic. But what can I do? I am made that way and I would not change it for anyone. Even if I have to face failure, I would rather face it with hope than sit and mope.
One pact I make with myself, right here and now- I won't compromise with myself . I won't settle for second best 'coz if I do, I will not just ruin my life but also of the people around me. I want my life to be guided by inspiration, not compromises. I can be a source of inspiration for others only when I follow my own dreams and make them happen.
So let's follow our dreams and be what we REALLY want to, for without that, we are living nothing but half a life.