Saturday, January 9, 2010

DRIFT...

It's been two and a half years now. Two and a half years of loving, holding on, fighting, fighting so hard and being thankful at the end of the day. Never did we let things stay sore for too long. Never did we leave a fight unresolved. Never.
But things seem to be changing now. It's as if it's not the same anymore. Something's changed. I don't know what exactly it is but it is happening nevertheless. It's as if we are drifting and it really doesn't make a huge difference.
We are two people living in two different cities who fell in love over the net and have met 3 times in the past two and a half years. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's been worth and no, I can NEVER ever in a thousand years regret falling in love with him.
He is the one person who changed my life and made me what I am today. I wasn't confident. Not at all. I didn't take chances. I didn't dare to step out of the shell I had created around myself. I didn't UNDERSTAND people as much as I do. Basically, I wasn't who I am right now. He taught me not to be judgemental, he taught me that love doesn't judge, love cares, love nurtures,silently understands and  demands nothing but love in return. I have no words to show how thankful I am. He loved me when most people wouldn't even THINK of loving me.

Today when I have changed so much, he tells me..Deboshree, you will fly really high. You will reach great heights and really be someone. And that makes me cry...because when I was a simple nobody with no dreams and ambitions, he taught me to fly and today he makes me feel that I will go ahead of him. Beat that!

The saddest part is that I feel we are drifting and things are about to change and I really can't do anything to change them. Maybe I know we will not last, maybe the distance is getting to me, but whatever it is, it makes me sad. Very sad.


All I can say is that I have loved him with all I am and I still do, but sometimes the distance is just too hard to bear. But I will hold on, I'll hold on till the very last minute if that's what it takes. Let's just hope our patience  doesn't wear out. Yes, hope is all that I have at this moment.

11 comments:

Tom Bailey said...

Painfully sad for this woman. The photo shows You share this in a deep way. But when you think about it meeting only 3 times?....


Tom

GYPSYWOMAN said...

such turmoil you are experiencing right now - your words beautifully express that feeling and show your inner strength at the same time - it calls to mind something i heard some time ago and that is: "smile/be happy for what was/that it happened/that it began - not sad that it has/or will end" - paraphrased a bit, but i think you can see what it is saying -

GYPSYWOMAN said...

oh, and i don't think relationships are all about quantity, but rather quality [ie, tom's remark about having met only 3 times] - but i understand his perspective -

Lorna said...

If he helped you see the person of worth you are, then the years apart were worth that and more. People change and sometimes that is the flow of it. I was in a marriage of 19 years, and you really don't have control over people's feelings. Take heart :)

GYPSYWOMAN said...

just checking on you over here - thinking of you - take care - jenean

The pale observer said...

Feeling for you! I hope and wish it will all work out. Communication is the key that can set you free! :)

Cheers
Holli in Ghana

Nancy said...

So sorry Debroshee. I hope all works out the way you want it to work out. He sounds like a very special person. We already know you are.

Deboshree said...

@Jenean- Thank you sooo much for your love and consideration. You are right..quality is what matters and I'm holding onto him!
Had an almost break up and realised that I can't live without him at all! I'm empty without him.

@Nancy- He is verryy special and I'm glad I'm with him.

@Lorna- Thank you so much for dropping by and yes, it is worth it!

@Pale observer- Thanks for dropping by and yes, communication is what we desperately need! I'll go meet him soon.

Thank you all of you for your support and love. It really means a lot.

Love
Deboshree

Anonymous said...

It made me happy ^_^

Susan Deborah said...

Dear Deboshree:

Times as the one you are experiencing is very painful. Maybe some time would work wonders. Pain enables us with different perspectives. Be still and pray.

I wish that this situation changes at the earliest.

Courage and peace always,
Susan

tusharika said...

MAY U HV THE BEST IN LIFE....N LET THE WORST FADE AWAY...MAY U SMILE N SHINE TOGETHER...DNT DO ANYTHING STUPID...LET U B IN HIS ARMS FOREVER AND EVEN AFTER THEN....TAKC SONA!!!